wow... what a night. ready?
Last night, all of mystudents blew me off 'cause spring break starts today, so casey and I were planning a shopping expedition when she-who-runs-away actually returned my call and agreed to meet me for dinner and a movie tonight. On the expedition, (wherein I found the most amazing lime green silk shirt with pearlescent beading and multi-layered collar), and while casey was trying on boobie-shirts, G#1 got an impulsive text message from me, responded in a timely fashion, and agreed to go to the fabulous courtney robbins show at the wench last night. I belatedly realized that ms. collapsible hand was also planning on being at the show, and began to get nervous about interacting with multiple crushes in the same location.
please note: ominous foreshadowing.
Spectacular shirt purchased, sushi was then procured, and shower was taken. Casey and I showed up at the wench about a quarter after nine, only to find shmeather and girl-who-runs-away sitting in a booth doing their taxes. I guess there are worse places to work on your 1040. Now I'm definitely nervous [crush tally stands at only one, but at least two are soon to arrive], casey picks up on this and gets me beer.
My butt has barely graced the booth across from girl-who-runs-away, and my witty repartee has only just begun, when ms. collapsible hand arrives all alone and looking particularly lithe and sinewy. She too procures beer, and casey (god love her) has begun the time-honored small talk topic of bangle procurement [note: crush tally now two -- at the same booth] when G#1 swaggers on in in her inimitable cocky-slimy-fucking-sexy-redhead-capricorn-bigbutchtop-pissed-off-narcissistic-swoonworthy-dirtydirtydirtybastard-do-me-now way. [crush tally: 3, and I'm a bit of a wreck.]
G#1 and I are catching up in a booth a little bit away from MCH and GWRA... I hate her for the way the can make me completely retarded just by looking at me for a second... when none other but Dr. Jones arrives, wearing a shirt similar to mine and staring at my ass. [crush tally:4, and I don't even know where to start.]
The music started, so we *all* found *a* table and I spent the next four hours of my life letting my crushes buy me drinks, trying to figure out who to flirt with, trying to prevent my head from exploding, and generally being hyperaware of making an ass out of myself. I got three hugs goodnight, a date for tonight, a date for next wednesday, a date for next saturday, a date for the 22nd, my neck bitten, my ear kissed, plenty of alcohol, real nice music, significant eye contact from all angles, and a little bit of a hangover.
And at some point during the evening, I realized that all of my crushes are currently pursuing/being pursued by/sleeping with straight girls... and that makes me the Emergency Backup Dyke. I think when the novelty of the LUG wears off, if there is any justice in the world, they'll realize that there are real live queers who actually have done this before who would be more than happy to do it again with them. Me, in particular.
The question then becomes how enduring the novelty is... G#1 has been through at least four straight girls in the time I've known her, so each one seems to have about a 6 week lifespan (like roundworms, come to think of it). MCH has been with her straight girl for a year, but they don't live in the same time zone and MCH is looking like she's beginning to end it. SWRA also has an out-of-town straight girl, but this will be her last visit here for a while... Dr. Jones has a sort-of straight girl in Flagstaff of recent origin...
Lesbian chic is making it really hard for me to get some action... damn that gina gershon/angelina jolie/sigourney weaver/ani difranco/jodie foster strong powerful women who kick ass and fuck each other and aren't afraid to shave their heads archetype that has finally come closer tot he mainstream where it belongs.
SWRA is going to dinner and a movie with me tonight. Maybe we'll make out.
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