2:18 am wednesday

I'm not sure if I'm the sort of person I think I am - I mean, just tonight I've finally articulated the following:

Truth - I drive an old baby-poo-colored automatic-transmission volvo 240 sedan that's in desperate need of an oil change.
Self-concept - I like classic european "enthusiast" cars - BMW 2002 tii, Porsche 356B, Audi coupe, MGB...

Truth - I'm running Linux on an old dell laptop, and haven't bothered to track down a wireless card that will work.
Self-concept - I'm a "geek" who keeps up with the latest in technological arcana.

Truth - My cellphone is vintage 2004, and the hingey-part is tenuous, at best. And no, it doesn't have a camera. Or even a headset.
Self-concept - I'm "wired".

Truth - I do have an iPod, but it's just a shuffle, and I'm not entirely sure where it's located at present. Also, I currently have no way of updating it without resorting to my roommate's computer. (see above re: Linux)
Self-concept - I'm hip and with-it in the world of audio entertainment... and while I listen to unusual music, it's because I'm unique (not because I can't update my music collection).

Truth - Yes, I have a road bike, but it's new and shiny, and not the beat-up single-speed cross / messenger one I wish it were, and I haven't ridden it in months.
Self-concept - I'm athletic and urban-edgy.

Truth - I have a monstrosity of a thoroughbred on stall rest and a midget appaloosa I can't seem to get over a jump. It's been over 10 years since I rode in any sort of horse trial.
Self-concept - I ride three-day event horses.

Truth - I got all ridiculous when Coffee Girl asked me my name this morning... and she's the only girl in Utah who's winked at me.
Self-concept - I'm hot and chicks dig me. Oh wait, that's the self concept I *should* have. the one I actually have goes more like "I'm strangely shaped, and I have unpleasant features, and I don't look the way i think I should look so of course no girl would want to date me - why on earth would anyone worthwhile consider me dateable?" Shit, man.

Truth - My diet today consisted of one bowl of grapenuts with soymilk and a banana, a cup of coffee from aforementioned Coffee Girl, a Super Big Gulp (tm) of iced tea with vanilla flavor, two baked potatoes (one with blue cheese dressing on it, the other with barbecue sauce), a cup of hot cocoa, and a cup of hot Ronalds (tm) tea mix. And a pomegranate.
Self-concept - I'm a vegetarian who eats healthy, balanced meals.




well, that's suitably depressing.